It’s been months since you signed those divorce papers, and life still feels like a roller coaster. Some days, you’re on top of the world — you’ve got this “single woman” thing down pat. Other days, you can barely drag yourself out of bed because the pain and loneliness are so crushing.
We get it. The end of a marriage marks the death of dreams, plans, and, in some ways, part of your identity. Nothing can prepare you for the wild ride after divorce. But take heart; you don’t have to white-knuckle this thing alone. Here are some practical ways to pick up the pieces and start piecing together your new normal.
Coping With Grief and Loss
1. The Pain of Heartbreak
Going through a divorce is one of the most painful experiences life can throw at you. Your heart has been shattered into a million pieces, and the emotional pain seems unbearable. It’s normal to cycle through emotions like sadness, anger, regret, and loneliness. Don’t bottle these feelings up — cry if needed, or call a friend to vent.
2. Learning to Forgive
As difficult as it is, try to forgive your ex-spouse in time. This is for your well-being, not theirs. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing their actions or forgetting how they hurt you. It means releasing feelings of resentment and anger, which only makes the grieving process harder.
3. Focusing on Self-Care
Practice self-care and be gentle with yourself. Exercise, journal, or do yoga to release pent-up emotions and ease anxiety. Stick to a routine, eat healthy meals, and avoid excessive alcohol or caffeine. Spend time with supportive friends and family who lift you.
Securing Your Finances Post-Divorce
The end of a marriage often means big changes to one’s financial situation. Now is the time to take control of your money and ensure you can support yourself.
First, review your accounts and documents to understand your complete financial picture. List all assets and debts in your name and any you share with your ex. This includes bank and investment accounts, property, vehicles, and credit cards.
Next, separate what’s yours from what you share. Close any joint accounts and open new ones in your name. Remove your ex from accounts that will stay in your name. Refinance or sell any jointly owned property and vehicles. The sooner you can separate financially, the better.
Look at your income and expenses to determine how much you need each month. First, account for essentials like housing, food, and transportation. Then, allocate for other needs and wants. Stick to your budget each month to avoid overspending. Make necessary adjustments to reflect your changing financial situation.
Tips for Moving Forward and Finding Happiness
Do Something New
After divorce, it’s easy to feel stuck in a rut. Shake up your routine by trying an activity you’ve never done before. Take a class on something that interests you, like cooking, photography, or a new language. Travel somewhere you’ve never been. Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone will help you gain confidence and discover new passions.
Spend Time with Supportive Friends
Connect with close friends or family members who love and support you. Let them take you out for a drink or coffee and talk about your feelings. Their company can help combat loneliness and remind you that you have people who care about you. Don’t isolate yourself.
Practice Self-Care
Divorce is difficult, but it’s also an opportunity to rediscover who you are. Schedule time for yourself to recharge. Try yoga or meditation, exercise, and limit alcohol and unhealthy foods. Lack of self-care will only make you feel worse. Treat yourself with kindness and patience as you work to rebuild your life.
The good news is you don’t have to rebuild alone. Therapy can be an excellent way to express your feelings, discover yourself, and maintain your mental health. Reach out to us today to schedule your first appointment for women's counseling.
Comments